Aug 4, 2011

In the world she lived in


Writing is dear to my heart. I guess that's especially why I don't post it or talk about it much. A couple of people asked to read the short story I'd been working on so I've decided to put up an excerpt of it below. Hope you enjoy it. :)

In the World she lived in
(Excerpt)

Woman had spent two weeks with Water. Alcohol didn’t call and neither did Woman make an effort to check on him. She was fascinated by Water’s constant care for her. She enjoyed Water’s appreciative kisses each time she cooked for him and she adored the love notes he wrote to her each morning. The lovemaking was paced like a classic melody that soothed her senses and made her fall asleep easily. She would always wake up full of energy. She knew all these qualities about Water before but this time it was heightened by the depth of Alcohol mishaps.

Alcohol and Woman had known each other for five years. The day she met him was when Woman had been touched in indecent places by her Uncle Molest.
“Get out of the house, I’m sick of looking at you.” Her Uncle M said as he opened up a beer.
So she left the house and strolled down the street. Tears dropped on the pavement and her nose drooled of mucous. Cars drove passed but one. One slowly followed her.
“Leave me alone.” Woman sniffed and wiped her tears.
“I’ll wait till you feel better.”

She turned her head to see who was concerned about her. He smiled at her. She didn’t. He introduced himself as Alcohol. She hesitated but then she told her name. From that day on he made her forget the troubles of her world. She left her Uncle M’s place and moved to his. He did give her care and understanding when she needed it most. A long invested emotion Alcohol and Woman had.

Woman woke up everyday with little remorse. Water made it easy not to think about Alcohol at least dwell on him too much. After all even though Water was more caring and considerate he was predictable. She knew that he would make her favourite meal every weekend; she knew that she was going to get a love note at her bedside each morning. And she also knew she was going to get the same feeling every time they made love. These situations reminded her about the redundancy she had left the first time she broke up with him. The thought disgusted her. She made sure to suppress such thoughts to make the relationship work. She was finally with a man that loved her. There was nothing to complain about any longer. Yes, he didn’t shower with expensive gifts nor did he take her to lavish dinners but he never cheapened her existence by seeing another woman. Plus, he would never slap her for speaking her mind. In the world she lived in Water was perfect.

6 comments:

Brandon said...

interesting! great personification of Water and Alcohol. and i love the fact that you named the uncle "Uncle Molest." A very direct approach that worked.

Chymere H. said...

I LOVED IT!!! It is so beautifully expressed in contrast. Poignant too.

-Chymere H.

Danny said...

Exactly...the personification is just awesome.When do we get to see the rest of it?

Toks said...

Oh my gosh, this is beautiful! Your use of metaphors is perfect, evokes the right emotions in me and makes such a great story. I can't wait to see the rest of it :)

Modé said...

Thank you very much!

@Danny When I get it published by God's grace, everyone will be able to see the rest of it.

Muse Origins said...

This is really touching. You're pretty good. I like the originality of it too

Adiya
http://museorigins.blogspot.com
http://museorigins.com